Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I'm baaack!

I'm back from Houston, mostly unscathed. I have a lot of random musings that individually are worthless, but together make for sort of decent blaggery. I'll try and spread them out for a few days' worth of updates.

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I don't know anything about catalysts in reactions, but it seems to me like a reaction that used marble (CaCO3) as a catalyst could be very useful in discreetly planting explosives. Put the reacting chemicals on the lip of a marble column, and the marble would de-form, catalyse the reaction, and re-form, sealing the reactants inside. It would tunnel through unnoticed! If one could get a little detonator to piggyback down the tunnel before it re-forms, no one would suspect a thing!

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Airplanes are crowded places. Please make everyone's flight more tolerable by not being any of the following:
• The comedian. We get it, you make bad jokes. Some of them are funny. But please, learn some moderation. Not everything has to be snarky and sarcastic. Pronouncing "Phoenix" as "fu-wee-nix" every single time gets old really quickly.
• The person who laughs at the comedian. Aaaaaaaaaarhgblble.
• The parent with a baby. Hey, did you know that babies can feel the rapid pressurisation and depressurisation of planes far more sensitively than you can? Their inner ears are so sensitive that the changes in pressure are painful. Babies will scream on flights.
• The Game Boy. It has a volume knob. Turn it down NOW.
• The parent with the baby (again). One more thing for you: When your kid sees that the plane has stopped moving and taxied towards the gate, he will want out. However, everyone in the aisle seats get to stand up first, take out their luggage, and start to lumber towards the door. This takes time, and most people are standing for quite a while before the queue moves at all. This is when the baby goes crazy. "IT'S TIME TO GET OFF WHY IS NO ONE MOVING I WANNA GO AWAY WAAAAH." I think spirits should be complementary--no, mandatory--for babies, so they'll be knocked out for the duration of the flight and most of the trip home.