The way I see it, there's no way any of us could ever join a secret agency like the CIA, NSA, FBI, KGB, or any other TLA (three-letter acronym). So what we need to do is create our own privatised secret agency. Man, that'd be totally awesome. I'd spend all my days stalking ambassadors of Pacific nations, tracking their activities, then sneaking into their offices so I could obtain secretive documents, like official border maps. Then I'd reapportion the border maps so some of the islands would magically become unclaimed. I'd use my super-secret secret-agency speedboats and stuff to claim them myself! Finally, my own islands!
I have a problem.
