So, recently the Today show had a special segment called "Vacations from Hell." In it, they featured the sob stories of four families who claimed to have the worst holiday. After they told their tales, America got to vote on which family they thought had the worst vacation. So, I only heard the last of the four stories. It was about some family on a Mexican cruise, and they suffered power outages at random intervals. Oh, boo hoo. They even stated explicitly that there were others who had it worse than they: families with screaming infants who got separated in pitch black and people on the lower deck with no air conditioning, for example. I thought to myself, "What a bunch of whiners. There's no way they can win this competition."
They won.
I'm sorry, but that is not a vacation from Hell. Not a chance. Being unable to play midnight shuffleboard off the coast of Cancún is not a vacation from Hell. You are not allowed to call your vacation a "vacation from Hell" unless it's something on the level of "Saharan marauders attacked our caravan, ate our dog, and flipped off our youngest child." Now, had there been Somali pirates who infiltrated the cruise ship and cut the power, then robbed everyone, set fire to the deck, flipped off your youngest child, and tossed the captain overboard, then I can imagine your vacation being the ultimate vacation from Hell.
Here, I'm going to make my own vacation-from-Hell submission. *Ahem* "I was in Hawaiʻi, and it was like the greatest vacation ever, and we got free candy in the hotel room. So I grab some Starbursts, and I open the first one, and I'm almost done opening the wrapper, and I hear a tearing sound! The humidity made the candy all sticky and a little piece of the wax wrapper got stuck to the Starburst! It was rendered absolutely inedible! So I go to open the next one, right? And the same thing happens! Same with the next one! And the next one! It was sooooooo tragic!"
I feel like a total whiner now. Awwwwwwwwww.
