I talked about Bob Woolmer on March 20th. In the days that followed, his death received significant news coverage all around the planet. The only logical conclusion is that I am responsible for this. I have the touch, I have the power and whatnot. Unfortunately, I'm sick of Bob Woolmer, which means the news is going to shut up about him tomorrow. So sayeth me.
Okay, time for the actual blog post: Starch.
The four most widely-grown crops are, in this order: rice, wheat, corn, and potatoes. All of these crops are starch. The only problem is that rice, wheat, and corn are all terrible, terrible crops in terms of efficiency. The effort needed to cultivate these three crops is significantly greater than the noble potato, which lives by Ron Popeil's motto, "Set it and forget it." In addition, it takes far less effort to prepare. Let's consider the bare minimum requirements to eat these crops:
Rice: Pull out a few dozen plants, remove the chaff, boil, eat.
Wheat: Pull out several dozen plants, remove chaff, grind, boil, eat.
Corn: Remove husk, dry, remove chaff, steam or boil or pop, eat.
Potato: Pull out of ground, brush off dirt (this step is optional), eat.
Like peanuts, potatoes have undergone a renaissance that has shown the world their many uses. This amazing tuber can be baked, fried, boiled, mashed, steamed, deep-fried, exploded into strings and compressed into panels (this is how both Pringles and hardwood floors are made), whipped, foamed*, or just eaten raw. Potatoes have been selectively bred for centuries and can grow effectively in nearly any region, be it their native Andes or in that kooky place Ireland. They can withstand freezing temperatures and, as tubers, are damn good at storing water during dry spells. Geneticists have engineered strains of potatoes for rural villages that help combat diarrhoeal outbreaks, as well as ones with built-in vaccines for polio and (in the near future) hepatitis B.
Potatoes. Preventing. Polio. If that hasn't sold you on the mightiness of the potato, you are a lost cause.
There is only one starch that I respect as much as the potato and that is the breadfruit. This thing is versatile. I have not had the pleasure of eating a breadfruit, but people who have describe it as capable of tasting like bread, fruit, vegetables, or any combination of the three, depending on how it's prepared. This could change the food industry as we know it. Imagine a fruit tart, with the exact same plant producing both the crust and the fruit filling. Imagine a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich with breadfruit bread. When you open it--*gasp*--there's no jelly! The delicious moistness came from the bread and the bread alone! Even better, picture a thanksgiving plate. A nice, plump turkey, surrounded by breadfruit stuffing, breadfruit casserole, breadfruit jam, breadfruit soda for the little ones, and breadfruit wine (or as I would call it, "brodka") for the adults. Then mom comes out with the desserts. Oh, heavens! It's breadfruit pie, with a breadfruit crust! And it's à la mode! There's breadfruit ice cream too!
Man that sounds good. Unfortunately, breadfruit has not experienced the years of cultivation that made potatoes and other starches so versatile. Consequently, breadfruit's domain is limited to tropical areas like the South Pacific and the Caribbean. If geneticists can make potatoes that prevent polio, I think we can make some hardier breadfruit trees with a little tolerance to cold, no? Ladies and dudes, it is high time for the Breadfruit Renaissance.
I wrote this entire post while listening to Andrew W.K. My head hurts. A lot.
*Those last two were borrowed from ElBulli's menu. I doubt anyone else would make foamed potatoes.
