Dear Jamie Foxx,
I think you are a fine man and I respect your acting skills greatly, but I still cannot overlook something you did in 2005. The incident in question is one of the greatest disasters in cinematic history.
I am talking, of course, about your Oscar nomination for best supporting actor for your role as Max, the islophilic cab driver from Collateral. Now, don't get me wrong, I think you did a great job in that movie, but I do not believe you qualified as a "supporting actor." As I recall, you had more lines and more screen-time than any other cast member. This should classify you as the lead actor, should it not? How did you get into the supporting actor category?
I posit, Mr. Foxx, that you quite selfishly and purposefully demoted yourself to "supporting" actor so that you could have a shot at winning TWO Academy Awards in 2005. See, you had already been nominated for best actor for your role in Ray. If you were nominated for best actor twice, you could only win one award, but if you were nominated for both best actor AND best supporting actor, you had a shot at a second award! Fortunately for easily-angered people like myself, you did not win your second award--had you been voted best supporting actor, I may have had an aneurysm.
I've suffered in silence long enough, Mr. Foxx. Every time I have seen or heard your name, I remember this gross abuse of power, and it pains me greatly. What with The Kingdom coming out soon, I don't think I could have survived much longer without telling you of my great dissatisfaction.
Regards,
Sam "Captain Awesome" Ettinger
Semiprofessional bellyacher
